Wednesday, 22 February 2017


His name was Ovidius, although he had a nickname used behind his back, based, you’d assume, on how he was roughly spherical.

But despite this, he was one of the leading voices in the Senate, not a debate was heard on Rome’s expansion into Africa or new rules on slave ownership transfers where Ovidius’ opinion was not sought out, sooner or later, and then given.

Eventually, he stood for Patrician, and seemed poised to win.

But the thing was, his nickname, Oleogustus? ‘Fat Taste’? That referred to his taste in women.

And the current Patrician’s wife was very fat indeed…

Tuesday, 21 February 2017


We sent a dozen envoys to the Umami as the Encroaching Hoard took system after system, and every time, the message back was ‘all things in their time’ and ‘finding peace’ and all that crap. We would have stopped trying, but since they were one of the oldest societies in the Galaxy, plus had those massive Crusader Warships… If only they’d join us.

And at our final stand, they did. Every race and coalition left standing, in one final desperate attempt to stop the Hoard. And then the Umami appeared, saying it was time.

And they opened fire on us…

Monday, 20 February 2017


I’m not bitter. Really.

I’m just…

I mean, look, try and see it from my point of view. Years of my life, doing all the calculations to try and work out the formula, having to brute force my way through thousands of possible combinations, then he waltzes in, has a thirty minute ‘brainstorm’ and then comes up with one off the top of his head, and suddenly he’s the genius.

I’m sure it’s got a flaw, I’m testing it thoroughly now. I’m sure I’ll break it, prove him wrong.

But I’m not bitter. I’m just… Being scientific.

Yeah, that’s it.

Sunday, 19 February 2017


There’s a moment shared by fighters, ones authorised by a government and armed with the latest hi-tech weaponry, or ones gripping a hunk of wood before they try and rob a lady of her spare change.

That moment where you are about to start a fight, where you know you’re about to confront danger head on, you pause, even for half a second, grip your weapon, and then go.

For me, that’s a handful of salt. Because if it all goes to hell, I’m messing up the summoning ritual, and either saving my life or taking everyone else with me…

Saturday, 18 February 2017


Sour was his name round these parts, which always led to surprise when people met him, since he got the name for his drinking habits. He was actually a really outgoing, nice guy. Always happy to lend a hand, always happy to help out, always there to support a friend in need.

Given the neighbourhood, he was taken advantage of, sure, almost all the time, but never too badly, up until the Wonski brothers cleared out his bank account, and his apartment.

We all chipped in a little to help him out, but after that, his name became more accurate.

Friday, 17 February 2017


They say that the small moments are the ones you remember. But I was fairly sure that this big moment of getting fired, a small box of my things thrust into my arms… That seemed more likely to be a moment I’d remember forever.

Longest elevator ride in my life, felt like. Then it stopped on level 25, and an intern almost skipped in, looking over a coffee list. She glanced up at me, then at the box, and after a moment pulled out a small packet from her purse.


I guess that was one small moment I’d remember…

Thursday, 16 February 2017

Counting Points

Look, my overall point is that we’ve become far too focused on ideological purity when it comes to viewpoints. Thanks to the media and the internet and society and all those other bugbears, having a nuanced, objective opinion about any topic, even love, just gets you attacked from both sides. You’re supposed to just blindly support or blindly attack every topic, every idea, every thing.

That’s not love, or hate. That’s just fucking stupid.

And I’m getting a bit sick of fucking stupid.

For the most part, obviously. There are many factors at play, after all.

See what I mean?