Sunday, 25 September 2016

The Slut Dies First, The Virgin Survives

As the killer apparition began to break down the door, she tried to remain calm, looking around for any way out, or at least a weapon. She grabbed an office chair out of desperation, and waited.

The apparition finished breaking down the door, came into the room and… stopped.

“Well? Come on then! You’re a bit late to kill the slutty one!” she dared after a moment, just wanting it done.

The ‘apparition’ lifted its mask.

“Adrian? The fuck?”

He smiled.

“Look, we’re now set for life, the survivors of-“

The real apparition chose this moment to decapitate the impostor.

Saturday, 24 September 2016

Love Fixture

Everything he wanted in a girl, she was.

Everything she needed in a boy, he was.

And vice versa.

It was if someone up there had created one perfect whole, and then split it in half, then placed each equal but different half in separate containers, so that when they met, they would again create the perfect whole. It was almost enough to make you believe in a grand scheme of things, just how perfectly they complimented each other.

Except that he was a diehard Golders fan and she was from Steers Country, so they hated each other on sight.

Friday, 23 September 2016

The Lone Biker

To me, he was the Lone Biker.

Every year, same day, same time, he turns up. Rain, hail or shine, there’s the sound of one of those giant motorcycles tearing down the road just outside my farm. I tend to go out and watch now, as this big, burly guy parks his motorcycle, takes off his helmet, and pauses for a moment, staring at the ground underneath a tree by the side of the road.

There’s never been an accident or anything there, so one year I waited for him, to ask what he was doing.

He never turned up.

Thursday, 22 September 2016

Civil Barbarians And Their Worlds

They were two of many worlds, linked through time and space. Some worlds were identical, others wildly different. These two were similar, but different. On one world, magic worked, the other, it didn’t.

Despite this, they remained fairly parallel. So much so that at the same moment, two identical men cast a transportation spell and turned on a new particle collider, and the link between the words made them swap worlds.

Both were confused, but adapted. The scientist was quick to accept new data in new circumstances equalled new conclusions, and the magician was used to spells being extremely precise…

Wednesday, 21 September 2016

“Tick A, B, C, or D.”

The flyer promised $20 to take a survey. I called up, and turned up to find a large room with a bunch of doors. The woman sitting at one desk pointed to the other, upon which stood a thick booklet. ‘Finish it, go through the door behind her, get paid’, she told me. Every page had a few detailed, complicated questions.

I shrugged, and go to work. A few hours later, the last page said they were looking for people who would look ahead first (go through the red door) or who would be diligent (go through the green door)…

Tuesday, 20 September 2016

Living In The Moment

She caught up with him as he was about to leave through the window. They both froze, as his eyes darted between the woman who he’d grown to love while she worked undercover, and the gun she had trained on him now.

After a moment, she aimed at the wall and fired.

“Darn, I’m out.”

He smiled, and held out his hand.

“Come with me.”

She paused.


I can’t.”

He sighed.

“I know. But that pause? That’ll do.”

He ran. After a moment, she ran after him.

She saw him again three years later, when she identified his body.

Monday, 19 September 2016

Advance Warning

As the High Priestess of Cerelbella, she would often receive visions, warnings for the future. Unfortunately, she couldn’t control them, they would just arrive. Hence her always carrying around a board and chalk.

She came running out of her chambers one day, excitedly clasping her board. I looked it over, and could just make out her writing.

“Great Evil, only beatable by two warriors, born same time, opposite ends of world, 25 years hence.”

We thus prepared.

And failed miserably.

Never quite sure if Cerelbella or the Priestess forgot to specify time zones or if that was just our mistake…