Saturday, 20 September 2014

10 Run “FindSearch” Locate.EXE



The cliché of the lone programmer, some bespectacled geek sitting hunched over his computer in his bedroom, that isn’t totally an unfair stereotype. Yes, Albert wasn’t overweight or ugly, and he had had laser eye surgery years ago, but one guy who knew programming working alone, he could indeed change everything. In Albert’s case, he would revolutionise finding old friends, the program he’d end up selling for hundreds of millions allowed you to find people via simple descriptions and concepts, like “lived up the street from me”. It was revolutionary.

And originally designed to find his bitch ex-wife, but still…

Friday, 19 September 2014

Not How Things Work



I should have done the mission by myself, but the brass insisted that I bring him along. He was the only person who could hack into their computers, they told me. And an unaccompanied woman would be noticed, they added. Annoyingly, they were right, but he didn’t have to keep talking as if we were in a spy movie, this was serious.

When we stood miles away and watched the plant blow up, I thought I was free of him, until he tried to kiss me. I shoved him away, and he muttered something about ‘keeping it for the sequel’.

Thursday, 18 September 2014

The Dishonor



He had a name, a title, long ago. But now he was just called The Dishonor. After all, he had made a mockery of the ancient practice of allowing those on trial to fight for their freedom, since he could not be beaten thanks to his dark magic.

But, thankfully for me, the man I had tried to rob was a visiting ambassador from the Empire of Magal, who we were at war with. And thus, I was allowed to have The Dishonor fight for me in my fight.

When I was freed, I asked how he did it.

“Handgun.”

Wednesday, 17 September 2014

Time Focus



For twenty-seven years, eight months, fifteen days and three hours, we’ve been together as man and wife.

For twenty-seven years, eight months, fifteen days and three hours, we’ve shared the ups and downs of life.

For twenty-seven years, eight months, fifteen days and three hours, while we’ve disagreed, we’ve never truly fought.

For twenty-seven years, eight months, fifteen days and three hours, I’ve been loyal to you, and vice versa.

For twenty-seven years, eight months, fifteen days and three hours, I’ve loved you more deeply than anyone has ever loved anyone.

So why focus on just the last five minutes?

Tuesday, 16 September 2014

Out Of A Possible 100…



I never saw what it was that hit me. One minute I’m walking down the road, next I’m floating up into the clouds, leaving the world behind, and then there I was, in front of, well I presume it was God.

They were smaller than I expected, and the clipboard was a little off-putting. I didn’t notice what it was saying at first, still thrown by the whole ‘Just Died’ thing.

I eventually pulled myself together right as It took hold of the lever.

“So yeah, B+ overall. This time, little more selfless charity work?”

God pulled, and I reincarnated.

Monday, 15 September 2014

Alarm Bells


Throughout high school, the friendship wasn’t understood by anyone. OK, so they grew up next door to each other. But she was the popular but bright cheerleader captain, the student chairperson, the homecoming queen, the leader of the school. While he was, well, he was creative, most of the teachers would admit. But he just spent all day drawing, or writing, or just staring off into the distance, daydreaming.

But at least they weren’t a couple, it just platonic. Everyone was thankful for that.

Until she dumped the Quarterback for cheating. Then they hooked up.

Still together, last I heard.

Sunday, 14 September 2014

Return To Sender



K.A.I, The ‘Kreative’ A.I, was the breakthrough of the decade, as it was the first major A.I to be truly creative. And it was instrumental in the development of Backtime Genetic Linked Messaging, and many other technological breakthroughs, up until someone asked it to help the Earth become peaceful, to which it intuitively realised the only way to do that was kill humanity, which it proved good at.

Seemed appropriate to use the Backtime Messaging to try and prevent this, and I sent messages back to my Father.

Although turns out my Mother had an affair with a Hollywood writer…