Saturday, 1 November 2014

Accidental Kisses

It started with a kiss.

Wasn’t meant to be anything special, just a peck on the cheek to thank her for having us over for dinner. But she turned and our lips met.

That would have been it too, but we both felt the spark, the moment we moved back and laughed awkwardly, we both knew what was about to happen.

We managed to hold off for a few weeks, but eventually we ended up at a party together, our partners busy.

Excuses were offered, reasons given, we both said that our marriages were important.

They ended with a kiss.

Friday, 31 October 2014

Mistaking Slenderman

The Internet has a lot to answer for. For every good thing it has done, there’s a problem it has caused. Allowing people from across the world to meet and share common interests and ideas is all well and good, but some ideas aren’t ones you want shared.

Take Slenderman, for instance. You know him, everyone online has at least heard of him. Tall, pale white skin, no face, black tentacles, hunts people and children… You know the guy.

Except that, well, you don’t.

For starters, he’s not a guy. I mean, the concept of gender is somewhat irrelevant here, Slenderman is as much male as ‘he’ is a babysitter. And how you visualise Slenderman is not what it actually looks like, it’s merely the nearest thing our puny brains can comprehend to it’s true form.

But the main thing people get wrong is that they see him as a threat, as the bad guy. That’s not true at all.

There are many, many creatures out there looking to take you, take your children. Horrors beyond your and my understanding. Slenderman you can at least visualise in some form, there are others as far beyond your grasp as nuclear physics are beyond the grasp of a housecat.

And Slenderman is trying to protect you, protect the children. It is the good guy here, it’s trying to get you to run away from the danger, but we keep running from it, and into the grasp of the true evil. It’s very sad.

But I hope, one day, you and everyone else will see the truth. Slenderman was very kind to me when we met. I mean, sure he took my eye, but it was a very apologetic about it, I’m quite sure.

Now hold still, this will only hurt a little.

Thursday, 30 October 2014


Sometimes, he felt sorry for the pawns.

After all, they were people, most of them trying to get out of the gutter that he had put them in. They ran his drug labs, walked his streets, attacked who he said to attack, take the rap when he ordered them to.

He treated them as nicely as they deserved, and protected them to a degree. They were his pawns, and as their king, he felt some duty to protect them.

But then when he realised that he was just another pawn for a queen above him… Then he stopped feeling sorry.

Wednesday, 29 October 2014

New Message From Gronak! (#4)

“Greetings Fellow Human! May Gronak ask question at you?”

I thought you… Never mind, what?

“I ask more question about thing we call love.”

Of course you do.

“Why give up love?”

Uh, some people have been burnt by others and-

“No, I refer to when someone let love go do other activity away from someone.”

Oh that. Well, you love them so much you want them to be happy, so you let them go be happy.

“But then someone is non-happy.”

Love means you sometimes are unhappy.

“Why do it then?”

Without it, humanity dies.


*Gronak is offline.*

Tuesday, 28 October 2014


One minute, Glory and Ayoneman were battling Spacee and Timee in front of their black hole generator, the next, all four were sucked into, well, a black hole, it appeared.

The rest of the Custodians of Earth quickly rushed to the machine. The three smartest minds on the planet worked quickly on the problem.

Within 10 minutes they’d worked out the wormhole induction that had occurred, and after 5 more minutes, they reversed it.

Glory and Ayoneman reappeared, their clothes tattered. The geniuses explained that time dilation often occurred, minutes here, years there.

Glory and Ayoneman didn’t mention the children.

Monday, 27 October 2014

Imperfect Storm

Seemed like whenever we began to head into stormy waters, a passenger would joke about hoping it wasn’t a Perfect Storm.

I tried to keep ambivalent about it, but eventually I cracked, and when the next person (a poor innocent Japanese girl) made a comment, I let loose.

I explained that the origins of the phrase were that it was originally a positive thing, and that even with current usage, imperfect storms were far more frequent and far more dangerous.

Of course, for a bunch of reasons, that directly led to me firing. It was a…

Horrible set of circumstances.

Sunday, 26 October 2014

Sad, Crazy Talk

So I was checking to see if anyone had leaked the new SnakeRed album when I saw this crazy post.

It started by sarcastically asking if the reader had heard of Steven Haynes, as if anyone hasn’t heard of him of any of his multi-platinum records.

It went on to say that his uplifting tone, his consistent positive attitude to life in his music was some conspiracy, that he was kept happy by drugs on the orders of the government to stop him using his talents to depress people.

Crazy, right? I’d link you but it got deleted pretty quick…