Saturday, 23 September 2017

Just His Luck

It was just his luck to have the dream job of most of his friends, selling bomb shelters and other survival gear. He'd get maybe a couple customers a day, and they'd spend thousands each time on non-perishable goods and the like.

It was just his luck that when the bombs did drop, he was inside the display shelter that closed automatically on him and the small group of young women who were as cute as they were expecting said bombs to fall.

It wasn't just his luck that all the food and water inside were just empty props though.

Friday, 22 September 2017

Statements To A Corpse



Answer me this.

No-one is so stupid as to waltz into a situation like this with fake merchandise, act like it’s legit and then let us test it, right?

So why did he let us? Why did he act so surprised when we got angry?

Look, I’m not saying we weren’t right to shoot him, or rather you weren’t right, I didn’t have time to draw, so…

No, I’m not wearing a damn wire!

I’m asking so many questions because I want to work out what just happened!

Well, that, and since I’m about to try and resell this stuff…

Thursday, 21 September 2017

Traditional Family Roles



He took the long package from the secret compartment.

“I had intended to give this to my son on the day he became a man.”

His daughter sighed.

“This is exactly what I mean! This traditional view of gender is so restrictive!”

Her father sighed.

“That is exactly why I think that being able to give it to my daughter on the day she becomes a woman is better.”

She raised an eyebrow, then took the package, and unwrapped the sword within.

“Because Lord Damio is a traditionalist, and won’t expect a woman to be the one to end him…”

Wednesday, 20 September 2017

Threads Of Destiny



The threads of destiny wind themselves around both the mundane and the extraordinary. The fabled sword that kills the beast is important, yes, but so is the rock that trips the horse of the messenger that allows the beast to be brought into the world.

It is an issue I have been fascinated with for some time, as you would know by my writings. But now, finally, I have the solution to the problem.

By cutting the threads, I can free us all from destiny’s terrible burden, free will can and will be achieved!

SNIP

There, now…

Why’d you freeze?